How To Be Healthy In College

So you want to know how to be health in college? We’ll you’ve come to the right place. First things first. You get to college and you want to look hot and impress everyone, so you don’t want to get fat. You want to know how to be healthy in college! Anyways, people are going to offer you free pizza everywhere you go. Well, its not really free. Its going to cost you all your confidence, when you look in the mirror in three weeks and your wondering why you haven’t been laid at college yet. All your friends are getting laid. All your enemies are getting laid. Even the kid who doesnt speak english is having great sex with your best friends. Well, guess what! Thats because they all know how to be healthy in college. So lets get to the point. Here are our college educated tips on how to be healthy in college:

  1. Don’t eat pizza
  2. Throw up every time you drink
  3. Drink chocolate milk when you smoke pot, do not go to the all you can eat cafeteria
  4. Be aware that Easy Mac is high in calories. It is not a healthy college snack.
  5. Stay out really late every night drinking, so you don’t wake up until after lunch.
  6. When you wake up, start drnking again, you do realize that the cafetiria food has an obscene amount of sodium. Eating at the cafeteria is not how to be health in college.
  7. Don’t ask fat people how to be health in college. Clearly, they do not know.
  8. Don’t ask the chick with the clap how to be healthy in college. Clearly, they do not know.
  9. Don’t ask the heroin addict how to be healthy in college. Clearly they do not know.
  10. Don’t ask the pot head how to be healthy in college. They won’t remember, even if they read this list.